


The Neighbours (Taylor Street Edition)

by Nillen



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Established Relationship, Harry is a Little Shit, Humor, James is a Little Shit too, M/M, Merlin is long-suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 19:48:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4973797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nillen/pseuds/Nillen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The tip to finding a good house involves conducting extensive background checks on your prospective neighbours: their marital status, how active their sex life is, the number of pets and/or children they have.</p>
<p>Merlin failed on all counts. </p>
<p>Or,</p>
<p>The neighbour fic no one asked for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Neighbours (Taylor Street Edition)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Songs_for_Euterpe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Songs_for_Euterpe/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I do not own Kingsman: The Secret Service.
> 
> This story is edited by Songs_for_Euterpe! :D Thanks so much darling <3

The morning started brilliantly with Eggsy waking up wrapped in Harry’s arms.

The older man, contrary to his living reputation, slept like a log who had the characteristics of an octopus. Eggsy carefully extricated himself from Harry’s arms, legs and body, checking that it was now eight in the morning with the sun shining through their balcony’s glass door. Smiling, Eggsy leaned down to press a kiss against Harry’s forehead, before he went to the bathroom to settle his morning business. Once he was done, Eggsy took his red robe, putting it on and tying it whilst making his way down the stairs. He put on the kettle in the kitchen, where JB and Mr Pickle were already waiting for him at the door when he arrived.

Eggsy leaned down to give both dogs a pat on their heads, before he opened the front door.

He leisurely made his way to their mailbox, already seeing the roll of newspaper on the ground next to it. It was a Saturday, but yesterday Eggsy forgot to check their mail, hoping there wasn’t anything urgent that needed their attention as soon as possible. When Eggsy pulled open their mailbox to take out the letters, he heard someone muttering something not far from him. Turning to his left, Eggsy saw one Mr Percival Spencer, who was also checking his mail. A familiar German Shepherd was standing next to the man, his tongue hanging out and body lazily rubbing against the man’s white pants.

It was always a peculiar sight for Eggsy; as the German Shepherd was as tall enough to reach Percival’s waist, yet had such a lazy and sweet temperament.

Eggsy wondered how Mr James Spencer raised the dog to be this way.

His own smaller dogs, Mr Pickle and JB apparently just finished their morning business as well, because the dogs were now making their way towards the German Shepherd, named ‘Potato’. Another peculiar thing about the dog, in Eggsy’s opinion.

“Good morning, Mr Spencer!” Eggsy decided to be the first person to greet the other, taking the taller man by surprise. He looked up from his bundle of mail, and a small smile made its way onto his pale face for Eggsy.

“Oh, good morning, Eggsy. Please, I’ve told you, just ‘Percival’ will do. Mr Spencer is James.” Percival proceeded to tut at him, making Eggsy grin widely at the older man. He was wearing a dark blue robe, and his messy hair and lack of glasses indicated that the older man had also just woken up from sleep. Eggsy looked down at the large amount of letters in his hand, and gave him a confused tilt of the head.

“Woah, that’s a lot of mail.”

“Well, yes, James forgot to take get them yesterday and the day before, even when he was home the whole time.” Percival let out a sigh and also a roll of his eyes, which was a normal Percival thing to do when he was talking about his insufferable husband. “The number of letters from his fans just never ceases to amaze me, though.”

Eggsy laughed, shaking his head as he remembered a number of letters written to James that he had read before. James was a well-known author, famous for his mystery novels, and Eggsy found it exciting to listen to all the stories from the author himself. Percival, on the other hand, was already immune to James’ brilliant storytelling skills and charms, having been James’ childhood sweetheart; the two growing up together in Manchester, before they moved to London.

“I do believe that means he’s still popular. If I were you, Percy, I’d rather keep my eye on that one.” He gave his neighbour a wink, laughing when Percival shook his head with a fond smile on his face.

“Trust me, I couldn’t even throw him off me if I wanted to. How is Harry anyway? I haven’t seen him for days, and he hasn’t visited the bakery in almost a week.” Percival politely inquired, causing Eggsy to turn and look at the second level of their home. Harry had just returned from a business trip in Oxford last night. He succeeded in getting a new client who decided to buy a number of suits for their winter collection. Eggsy still couldn’t believe how much money Harry was making, just by being the owner of a very well-known tailor shop in London.

“He’s fine. A bit too excited to start his new collection, though.”

“Then that explains why I couldn’t get a good night’s sleep last night.”

There was a moment of silence, in which Percival and Eggsy stared at each other from across their garden, before slowly turning their heads to look at the house in the middle of theirs.

Merlin was standing in front of his doorstep, his roll of newspapers tucked under his armpit, and a brown box the size of JB in his hand. Merlin had lost his mailbox – the one that was supposed to stand between those of Harry’s and James’, a few feet from his doorstep – to James’ reckless driving and Harry’s unsolicited advice as co-driver. Merlin had refused to tell Eggsy the story no matter how hard Eggsy tried to persuade him.

Percival, on the other hand, marked the accident as ‘Things James and Harry Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Do EVER AGAIN’.

Merlin’s statement, however, made Eggsy’s eyes widen almost comically and his face turned beet red in just a second.

“Good morning, lads.” Merlin looked smug; at least he was having fun by making Eggsy all flustered in the early morning.

“Wha? Umm, good morning, Merlin, uhh-” Eggsy held his newspapers and letters close to his chest, eyes quickly looking away to avoid  Merlin’s face. But when he tried to look at Percival, he realized Percival’s ears had also turned red, and the older man was trying not to look at Eggsy as well.

“Oh, maybe next time try to tone down your worship of Harry’s willy. I have to see him every morning at work and even after after work sometimes. Knowing the size of Harry’s little – or rather, _big_ man, is disturbing for me. And please, tell Harry on my behalf that I am not appreciative of the fact that he’s trying to make a hole on the wall between our bedrooms by repeatedly smashing your bed against it. Or maybe, to put it into Harry’s words ‘pounding your sweet arse through-‘”

“ _Merlin_!” Percival at least had the decency to chide the other man; his usually pale face had gone all red in alarm. Eggsy himself couldn’t even look up to see Merlin’s face, only wishing that the ground would open up and swallow him whole in that instant.

“And since you’re also here, Percival, here’s your parcel.”

Eggsy looked up in time to watch Percival catch the brown box Merlin had carried out with him. Percival looked a little confused, but as he turned the box to read the description, his face turned red again.

“… I’m going to kill him.” Percival slowly let out between his gritted teeth, and Merlin sighed almost dramatically.

“You’ve said that so many times, I’m wondering whether you’re actually going to do it anytime soon or not. My popcorn’s getting cold.”

“Err, what’s that?” Not being able to help himself, Eggsy decided to chirp in. Percival didn’t look at him, but his ears turned more red, as if it was even possible. Merlin looked back to Eggsy, with a sardonic smile on his face.

“Just some more sex related stuff James ordered online, but had put in the address of my house, so it was delivered to me instead.”

Eggsy’s gasp got stuck in his throat, causing him to cough loudly. Percival gave Merlin an unimpressed look.

“But, uhh, how can you know it’s, umm, James’?”

Merlin raised an eyebrow, but decided to entertain Eggsy with his solid answer.

“I opened it yesterday, and saw there was a pair of  red lacy panties inside with ‘James Spencer’s Favourite Playground’ written on the back, along with-”

“ _MERLIN_!”

Percival’s exclamation must be the loudest Percival had ever let out, because within another second the door to his home was opened and Roxy, his daughter, rushed out to get him.

“Papa! Is something wrong?” the four-year-old asked, brown eyes large as she took in the sight of her father. Percival quickly hid the box behind him, and used his other hand to pull Roxy closer to him. Eggsy gaped, seeing Merlin trying his best to suppress his crackles, and Percival glared holes at his bald neighbour.

“Nothing, I was just… surprised, by Merlin.” He explained slowly, allowing Roxy to take James’ letters and newspapers from him. Roxy turned to greet Merlin good morning, before she caught the sight of Eggsy, and beamed adorably.

“Mr Eggsy! Good morning!” she waved to him with a cheerful expression of a young girl, and Eggsy’s heart melted happily.

“Good morning, Rox! Have you had your breakfast yet?” he asked the young girl, receiving a grin in return as the girl grabbed Percival’s free hand.

“Not yet, but Papa is making me pancakes with bananas and chocolate chips. How about you, Mr Eggsy?”

Eggsy smiled, rubbing his nape with a sheepish expression. “Well… I just woke up.”

Merlin watched the interaction between Eggsy and Roxy with raised eyebrows, whilst Percival glared at him from the side.

The distant sound of a boiling kettle then surprised Eggsy, making him turn around to look at his kitchen through the window.

“I think I’d better go now,” Eggsy gave them another sheepish grin, and Percival nodded his head with a small smile. He already had Roxy held close to his chest, carrying the little girl with ease. Eggsy was a little jealous of the Spencers, if he had to admit it. They looked like the perfect little family – well, minus James’ tendency to destroy things by accident – and Eggsy wanted to have what they had. Merlin on other hand, seemed happy enough to live all by his own.

Eggsy bet living close to James and Harry made Merlin less inclined to pursue a chaotic lifestyle.

“Okay, bye bye, Mr Eggsy.” Rox waved at him cheerfully, and Eggsy grinned back. He couldn’t wait to get back to work on Monday, being a kindergarten teacher was really one of the best things ever to him. Merlin only gave him a tip of his invisible hat, his smirk remained on his face.

“Mr Pickle, JB, come on.” Eggsy called out to the dogs who were lying on top of Potato’s large body, who was lying down on the ground. All three of them were basking in the morning sunlight in front of Merlin’s front step. The two dogs raised their heads to Eggsy when they heard his voice, before quickly making their way to follow Eggsy into the house.

“Percival, get James to take his dog out for a walk, for God’s sake your dog is lazy-” was the last thing Eggsy heard as he closed the door behind him. He sighed heavily, the whistling of the kettle was really loud now he was inside. However, before he could make his way into the kitchen to turn off the stove, someone else already did.

Standing in the middle of their kitchen was Harry; bed hair in the form of messy curls, body fit and shoulders broad beneath his robe, his back to Eggsy. Eggsy stood at the kitchen’s entrance, blue eyes shamelessly raking over  his lover’s tall body, wondering how on Earth he managed to land himself such a gorgeous man. He just never thought that his first one-night stand would turn into a lifetime’s promise of happiness.

“Good morning, darling.” When Eggsy blinked his eyes, Harry had already turned to look at him.

The early morning sunlight silhouetted Harry from behind him, giving the older man a halo on top of his brown hair. Eggsy smiled softly at the sight, and slowly made his way to Harry.

Harry welcomed him with open arms; arms that Eggsy gladly allowed Harry to wrap around him.

“Good morning, Harry.” Eggsy’s voice was muffled by Harry’s chest, but Eggsy knew he heard them perfectly, by the gentle kiss he bestowed on top of Eggsy’s head.

“A brilliant Saturday morning, is it not?” Harry chuckled, brown eyes twinkling playfully as his hands grabbed onto Eggsy’s arse, kneading it in a promise of morning sex in the kitchen. Eggsy let out a soft moan, but didn’t stop to retaliate by standing on his toes to give Harry his signature morning kisses.

“Mm, just a perfect, ordinary one, Harry.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really sure what to do with this story yet; not sure if I can pull it off as the first of its series, since I have a lot of other Hartwins in my draft :l
> 
> But I hope you guys have enjoyed that! ;D
> 
> Thank you for reading this!


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